thanks for coming back in my life when i needed you, mumford and sons.

my legs are sunburned SO BAD.

and freaking.. everything. so much. can’t concentrate enough right now to write about it. but erg. i.. i am trying. i am trying to work through what is happening right now. and you know what? A LOT is happening right now. i’ve been the person everyone wants to talk to about everything. it seems like every friend i know is working through some rough spots like i am. i’m a fantastic support - i love listening and try to comfort them as i can. i was told that i’m like a confidant, which is complimenting and i see some truth in it. it’s getting to be overwhelming though, because i’m trying to be there for so many people, and i feel like i don’t have enough time to myself. yeah distractions are nice, but i like time alone, too.
i’d chose being there for friends over myself though. and that’s what i’ve been doing. 

i have also been having so much fun :) especially the past couple of days.. if i wasn’t so tired i’d write more. i recall saying that before but look i just kept typing away.

yes. i will write more later when i can actually describe instead of just jotting down small sentences as they come to mind.

talking with people is fantastic. i love listening to everyone’s different perspectives and trying to understand how their mind works; especially when i can put their opinion subject to my own views.

as for what’s been on my mind most recently, it’s been respect and trust. as i’ve said, i’ve asked a couple of people for their opinion on a certain subject, and both had similar answers which were opposite of my thoughts at the time. oh isn’t talking with no details fun to try and understand? i’d like to elaborate, but i don’t know who all is reading this and don’t want to hurt certain people. let me leave what i have concluded at this: no means no.
i’ve also realized that horrible situations can bring out the best in people.

if you’re strong enough to get through them.

check out dem books suckaaaa. the three volumes of sherlock holmes are from 1904, and Aristophanes’ play Clouds is from 1899 and written in greek.
they’re gorgeous <3

i wish i had a library.

i’m so glad to have met such a wise person right when i needed one.

you know what? i am going to be okay much sooner than i thought. and THAT is also okay.

hey internet.

i’m feeling pretty today <3 
or, at least i feel confident that i look pretty today. i don’t feel pretty; i feel a lot of things though. i’ve been re-reading my favourite book for my computer graphics project, and a question i’ve been pushing back resurfaced and i decided to handle it. i talked with a friend, and his example made me not better, but more understanding of the situation. in some ways that should be more important to me - i’m glad i’m out. i’ve mentioned it before but it’s been refreshing being surrounded by friends. it’s been even more refreshing yesterday and for the first half of today to have been alone to think about everything. it’d be the extreme-of-refreshments to find extraordinary happiness again. it will happen someday.

hello. i’m in class.

my boobs are shrinking, which is fantastic. (EDIT: this is sarcasm. ;A;) @meichuu you should give me your old bras since someone is moving up in the lingerie world. i’ll text you about it later, this is just a reminder for me :P
i hate my book jacket. i’m going to trash the entire thing and start again today in class. it’s frustratingly ugly. 
though i’m surrounded by people, i feel empty. it’s going to take such a long time for my mind to be back in gear, because it is no where near normal functionality right now. i can focus, but i’m not focused. i feel nothing. i wonder if my depression is back; if it’s like this at the end of the week, i’m going to talk to my parents about it. i want to be alone and single and just enjoy life for now. i don’t want to be committed to anyone. since i was a kid, my dream has been to get married when i’m young and have a house, family, and every loving thing that comes along with it - to be committed to the one boy i love and give him everything, and feel loved in return. that dream feels incredibly unreachable now.. and it hurts. even though that’s what i desire most, for now i’m just going to pace myself in these currents and see what happens. i need to be alone for awhile. and i hate it. but i’m going to try and appreciate the freedom that comes with it.